Saturday, March 12, 2011

A New Mentality

Greetings Divas,

I am having a hard time this week. So as you know with my program we weigh in 2x a week. Well on Monday's weigh in I had gained 1.4 lbs.  This is typical for me. The week after TOM I gain weight like some some weirdo.  I can't just be like every one else and gain during my cycle. But I digress.  When I stepped on the scale I knew that it was not going to be good so I was prepared so I thought.

This week I have felt myself slipping back into my old habits.  Before I started this weight loss journey I was a  closet eater.  Have been most if not all of my life.  I would hid candy in my room and eat it late at night as my comfort food.  Even as an adult I was a closet eater. I would sneak sweets in to my office at home and eat them there so that my husband would not see me.  I am not sure where this behavior stems form but I am sure that is has something to do with my father and the constant verbal abuse that I suffered.

Anyway, this week I found my self eating a fun sized snickers that I stole form a coworker.  I actually went to the gas station and purchased a pack of sweet tarts. Now mind you, while I was in the store I looked at all the calories on the candies and decided on the sweet tarts because they offered the least calories for the most product. So with that I can see that my mentality has changed a little. But the fact that I actually went to the store with the intention of purchasing and subsequently eating this types of food is baffling to me. 

I often find myself comparing my journey to others that I have seen and I know that is counter productive.  I wish I could not go out and see people on the streets and want to be like them.  Its not about personality, its about their shape and size.  I always  find myself saying "Ooh if I was that size I would be great", or "If i cold look like her then I would be beautiful".  As I read the blogs that I am subscribed to I often wonder why it seems like everyone is loosing weight except for me.  I really need to snap out of this type of thinking.  These are the types of thoughts that brought me to 378 lbs.  And these are the kinds of thoughts that will keep me form reaching my goals if I don't change.

So I have decided to stop with the stinkin' thinkin'.. I know its not that easy but I am going to make a concerted effort to try and change my mentality about myself as well as the journey. I need to learn to love my self and celebrate the victories that I have achieved.  I need to stop comparing my self to others. I am not them and they are not me so why would our weight losses be the same.  This is going to be a tough thing for me to overcome but I know that if I can loose the weight I can defiantly change my mind.

Let's all try to change our mental states. I am sure it will do a world of difference for yourself esteem as well as boost our weight loss efforts.

Peace and Blessings

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  1. Do you realize you have lost 30lbs. since January? That is amazing! Your journey is your journey, no one else's. If you look at the long-term progress, that would be 120lbs. by next January. You will have good and bad weeks, but just pick yourself up and keep at it. You are doing amazingly well, so keep it up!

  2. Thanks Erin. Your comments are always so uplifting. I was having a bad week but I am feeling much better now. Even though after I worte this yeterday I had a bag of pretzle M&Ms I did not dwell on it. I am trying to make a more conscious effort to be more positive. Thanks again for the kind words.