Monday, April 4, 2011

In a Funk

I don't know what has been going on with me lately but I am truly in a funk. I can't see to get my head in this weight loss game right now. Last week I had an excellent loss of 5.2 lbs after a 2lb gain on Monday. So I was excited about that and thought that I was back on track but alas. When I stepped on my home scale this morning is said that I was up 4 lbs since yesterday morning. I was sevestated. I have been in a bad mood all day about it too.

I am not sure what it is that I am doing. Scratch that. I know that I am not being as diligent as I was at the beginning of my journey. I am not measuring anything and just guessing at calories and not really know what is going into my body. I am not sure why I have become so lazy but this has got to stop. Every week I am going back and forth. Gaining and loosing and gaining and loosing again. This is not the way that I wanted my journey to go.

I guess I have gotten complacent since I have lost 43 lbs but I still have a long way to go. If you look at my ticker I still have 135 lbs to go so I really have no room to get slack and do what I am doing now. I really wish I could figure out why I keep self sabotaging. If I recall this is the way my past weight loss attempts have gone, even though I have lasted longer this time. It always happens this way. I am gung ho for a while and then I start to taper off until I am right back where I started or weighing more than what I did when I began. I don't want that to be the way this goes.

I am determined to beat this thing if it takes all I have. I have to lose this weight and become the woman that I envision.

On a brighter note I was looking through my phone and I saw some picture that I have taken of myself over the last year or so. I wasn't really seeing the changes form my weight loss until I looked at these pictures. I am so proud of what I have accomplished so far but this is not the end just the beginning of what I am destined to be. So here are the pics for your viewing pleasure.

March 2010
Look at how round my face is! Whoo

March 2010
Face still looking fat!

August 2010
Loved my hair in this pic! LOL

October 2010
Not quite as round but still not a very noticable difference.

Early March 2011
I am starting to see a noticable difference. Not so round now.

This is the one that I noticed the greatest difference.
My jaw line is trying to be defined and I am able to see a big difference
from March of last year.

Can you see a difference?
There is always a brighter side I just need to focus on that and keep my head in the game.

Peace and Blessings Divas

1 comment:

  1. I can see the difference for sure! Unfortunately this journey is full of gains and losses. Mentally you have to be strong to succeed. Stay off the scale! You won't do anything but drive yourself crazy! Have you clearly defined your goals?