My Word for 2012

 

con·fi·dence   

noun

1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.

2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.

3. certitude; assurance: He described the situation with such confidence that the audience believed him completely.


My word for 2012 is confidence. Throughout this year I have lacked one vital thing in my weight loss journey.  That is confidence in my self and my ability to acheive my goals.  I not only lack confidence in my weight loss abilites but also in my daily life, i.e. work, school, parenting, being married etc.  It is my mission for the next year to build my confidence in all areas of my life. 

 

 

 

So divas what is your word for 2012?

Peace and Blessings

Failure?

Hello there Divas,

My blog title describes just how I feel today.  I am a FAILURE!!!!!!
No really I am. Per my last post, today was supposed to be the day that I hit my 100lbs lost goal.  I really wanted to say that I lost that massive amount of weight in just one year.  But alas when I weighed in today I was up 4 f*#$ing pounds.  I couldn't believe it.  I mean I could but really? Up 4 lbs.  I was pissed at first and then the depression hit. I am super hard on my self when it comes to my weight loss efforts and this just caused a downward spiral.

Of course everyone was trying to tell me that it was ok and that it happens but I wasn't trying to hear that.  I wanted to cry, and I did.  I wanted to scream and yell and throw things ( didn't get to do this).  But like always my hubby was there to comfort me and tell me everything would be ok.  I'm still working on believing this bullshit  statement.

This morning (well yesterday morning by the time this is posted) I was wallowing in a big vat of self loathing, self pity.  But I had to admit that I did this to my self.  I am well aware of the things that I was eating these last couple of weeks. But I just hoped by some miracle that it wouldn't show on the scale but it did.  Today I allowed the scale to steal my joy and drive.  Something I promised myself I would never do. 

I think the main reason I was so upset was because this was a major goal that I wanted to accomplish by the end of this year and it just didn't happen.  I had built up so much hope and anticipation for it to happen. So when it didn't my whole world came crashing down around me.  I really really really with cherries and whipped cream on top wanted to meet this goal but........... such is life.

I do believe that I learned a valuable lesson today.  I have learned that what you put in is what you will get out of any situation, especially this weight loss thing.  I have also come to the conclusion that I am super proud of what I have accomplished this far in my journey. 

This time last year I weighed close to 400 pounds and now I am 96 pounds lighter.  THAT is something to be proud of.  I have never lost that amount of weight and kept it off.  This year has been amazing.  I discovered that I am capable of accomplishing anything I put my mind to if I just do it.  And even though i didn't reach my ultimate goal for the end of the year I am a hell of alot closer than i was this time last year. And for that I am grateful and proud. 

So divas, I hope you all have reached your goals for this year. But if you haven't then that's ok too.  Don't be afraid to celebrate what you have accomplished so far.  You are not where you were yesterday or last year and you can and will continue to make changes that will last you a lifetime. 


Celebrate even the little losses. LOL



Here's a glance at a few upcoming post:

• My Word for 2012
• A Year of Face Photos
• Happy New Year and Goals

Peace and Blessings
 

Bad Blogger

Greetings Divas,

I know I know I am the worst blogger. So bad in fact that I lost a follower while I was away.  I completely understand so no love lost.

I have been dealing with my bonus child and that has me stressed to no end so I allowed my blogging to suffer.  But I am back (again I know). I am really trying to keep up with this thing. 

In other news, as you can tell by my ticker I am only 3.8 lbs away from meeting my first major goal of loosing 100 lbs. My goal is to make it happen by the end of 2011.  I know that I can do it I just have to stay focused and keep eating right and exercising.

I am working on my goals for 2012 and hope to have them posted soon. 

This was just a quick update and I'm back post. 

Hope you Divas Have a happy and blessed Holiday

Peace and Blessings.

Friend Makin' Mondays

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Dating

1. What is your current relationship status? (Be as specific as you’d like to be!)Very happily married to the man that God had desigend just for me.
2. List a few qualities that you look for in a significant other…intelligent, ambitious, and healthy (lol)  I am constantly cold so I need someone with some extra fluff to keep me warm but not too much.

3. If you could choose to date one character in TV or film, who would you choose? It would have to be my all time TV crush Tyrese from Baby Boy.  I just love him. He is kinda ghetto and thuggish and I like that lol!!!

4. How long should you date before becoming exclusive?  That is totally up to the couple.  When it feels right is the best answer I can give.
5. What are your thoughts on public displays of affection? I like little shows of affection like hand holding, a little kiss, googly eyes across the room, but I think certain things should be kept at home.

6. Do you kiss on the first date? I kissed my hubby onthe first date, well he kissed me and I was cool with it.

7. Biggest turn-off? Bad teeth....

8. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I usually notice their eyes. I like to abserve people before we meet.
9. How long do you/did you wait before becoming intimate? With my husband we waited untill we were in a committed monagomous relationship. That was my requirement not his.... lol
10. Describe your dream date. My dream date would be any moments that I can spend enjoying the company of my husban!! I really love him!!! Can you tell.... LOL

Now it your turn all my Divas. Head on over to All the Weigh and make some new friends with me.

Peace and Blessings

Stole this from a new follower!!

Hey Divas,

I just discovered that I have several new followers and I am thrilled.  Make me wanna keep up with my updates.

While I was perusing the blogs of my new followers I saw this:

I Love Love Love this right here.  Thanks go to Yolanda over at My Pursuit for Happiness for this amazing insight. 

Peace and Blessings

To Pee..... Or Not to Pee.....

Hello Divas,

I know you just love that title right?  Anywhoozle

I am glad to be back.Twoweeks ago I had a small surgery (more about that later) and I was recovering from that so I did not get a chance to post a new blog or update my weight for this week. So I guess I will do that first.

On Thursday when I weighed in I was at 291.8!!!!!! Woooo Hooo I am still loosing and I am so stinking proud of myself I could do a back flip (if it wasn't for my broken toe!! LOL)  Antyway that is a total of ................Drum roll please............ 86.6 lbs lost since the last week in December 2010. I think that I am doing damn well and I plan to keep it up untill I reach my final goal. 

Unfortunately I have kinda picked up my candy habit again because of Halloween and the candy that is in my house but I will NOT be overtaken this time.  Hopefully once its all gone I can get back go to my normal self and be sugar free! LOL

So I mentioned that I had a small surgery two weeks ago and was recovering.  Here's the background story.  I have been off of birth control since Dec. 2009.  My husband and I tried to conceive for a year before I decided that I probably needed to loose some weight before I became pregnant.  So fast forward to September of this year.  I had my annual GYN appointment.  I told her that we were having difficulty becoming pregnant.  I was also have some pain during........... the  baby making act so I was concerned about that.  Well she suggested that I have an exploratory/diagnostic surgery to determine if that was something keeping me from becoming pregnant and also to find the source of the pain I was/am experiencing. 

So on last Tuesday, Oct. 25 i went in and had a D&C Hysteroscopy, diagnostic laproscopy, and a cyctoscopy with hyper distention. I know sound like a lot but it was fairly minor.  These procedures were looking in my uterus and well as my bladder and also into my pelvis through my naval. 

My Dr. found two polyps in my uterus that were removed as well as discovered that I had an inflamed bladder.  So I am hoping that the removal of the polyps helps us to get pregnant soon.  As well the inflammation in my bladder is a chronic disorder that I will have to live with. I meet with her to discuss treatment options to hopefully alleviate the pain that I am experiencing.  Oh my blog title is related to my inflamation disorder.  One of the symptoms is frequent urination! Which has been a problem for me for years. Just thought I's make a joke about it. 

Soo that's where I have been.  Hope you Divas are still keeping up with the your weight loss efforts. I know I am. 

As Always

Peace and Blessings

    

Toes and Weigh-Ins

Hello Divas,

I know that I am terribly late with my update but I have a good reason. Please see the attached photo for the reason.

The above picture is of me in the ER last Sunday night with a broken toe. That's right I broke my toe AGAIN! This the 4th time I have broken this same toe.  It was so very painful but it's not like this was a new expereince for me.  I spent 5.5 hours in the ER just for the Dr. to say of yes its broken but you can just tape it and wear a surgical boot.  Mind you by toe is clearly dislocated.  So I have to call my podiatrist the next morning for an appointment.  He laughs at me and then proceeds to put my toes back in place. 

Here is my X-ray to show you where it was broken:



Its my pinky toe if you couldn't tell. So that is my excuse for not updating sooner.  Any whoozle. Here is my weight update for last week.

Last Thurs. Weight (10/13) - 300.2

Mon. Weight (10/17) - No weight in b/c of aforementioned broken toe situationThurs. Weight (10/20) - 294.2 {6.0 lb loss}

This weeks total loss - 6.0 lbs.

So as yu can seee from the last post I had gained 5 lbs but it was all water weight because of Aunt Flo. I successfully lost that plus one more pound.  I am happy with that.

Untill next time Divas

Peace and Blessings